What to Write in a Funny Birthday Card

What to Write in a Funny Birthday Card

Sometimes a birthday card needs to do one job and one job only: make the person laugh. No soppy declarations, no inspirational quotes -- just a properly good joke they will still be chuckling about a week later.

These messages are unapologetically funny and perfect for anyone who would rather get a belly laugh than a tear-jerker on their birthday.

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Messages

Happy Birthday! I was going to make a joke about how old you are, but I was taught to respect my elders.
humorous
Happy Birthday! I'm so glad we're going to grow old together, and that you have such a massive head start.
humorous
Wishing you a fantastic birthday! Just remember, age is merely a number. In your case, it's quite a large one, but still just a number.
humorous
Happy Birthday! Let's celebrate the fact that you survived another year without me killing you.
humorous

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Happy Birthday! I've bought you the most expensive present I could find: my sparkling personality and endless charm.
humorous
Congratulations on making it to an age where your back goes out a lot more than you do. Happy Birthday!
humorous
Happy Birthday! As a special treat, I promise not to tell anyone how old you actually are. You're welcome.
humorous
Happy Birthday! You're the only person I'd rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Mostly because you run slower than me.
humorous

Writing Tips

Know your audience

The funniest birthday messages are the ones that land perfectly with the recipient. A joke that works for your best mate might baffle your great-aunt. Tailor the humour to the person.

Keep the punchline sharp

The best funny card messages are short and punchy. Set up the expectation quickly and deliver the twist without padding it out. Less is almost always more with birthday humour.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I write a funny birthday card message?
Start with a familiar setup -- age, getting older, gift-giving -- then twist it with something unexpected. Self-deprecating humour or gentle teasing about the recipient both work well. Keep it concise for maximum impact.
Is it okay to be cheeky in a birthday card?
If you know the person well and they enjoy a laugh, absolutely. The key is making sure the joke comes from a place of genuine affection. If they would laugh hearing it in person, it will work in a card.

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For MumFor DadFor WifeFor HusbandFor FriendFor SisterFor Brother18th Birthday